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My mum's special day is today. The day that my mum was born, 86 years ago.

There is always a lot of emotion. The emotion never goes away. Sometimes the stories are easier to tell and sometimes not so easy.

My realisation this year is that I have been without my mum for as long as I was with her. This is bitter/sweet.

I reflect on my mum always counting her blessings and I do think this was a beautiful legacy that she left for us.

I always do try and do the same.

I was almost 32 when I lost my mum to cancer and mum was 54.

The emotions come and go and the emotions change.

I do count my blessings and I do know how lucky I am to have been

able to call her my mum.

I feel lucky we had such a beautiful relationship.
I feel lucky her pain did not go on for years.
I feel lucky she went into remission for 1 year and got to go around Australia for 2 months with my stepfather and her beautiful cousin and husband.
I feel lucky I was born when she was 22 and I had 31 years with her.
I feel lucky that my brothers and I had our children young and she got to enjoy 6 grandchildren before she died.
I feel lucky we spent so much time together.

Other times....

I just want to think about all the fun times that I have missed out on in the last 31 years and how 54 is still so young for her to leave us.

I think about her lost time to reap the rewards of so many years of struggle, financially and emotionally to bring up children on her own.

Unfortunately or fortunately you have to find peace and find gratitude in your journey and know that those who have passed will always remain close to you.

Mum will remain at 54 or younger in my mind and heart.

Mum always made the most of what she had and was always doing and giving to others.

Mum was always busy, the only time I saw her sitting was with a pair of knitting needles in her hand or a grandchild on her lap.

I remember funny stories about my mum.

Mum was the only person I know that would go to the football or watch her black and white movies knitting the whole way through. She only stopped for an exciting or scary part.

Mum was very animated and would often yell out or scream in fright.

Mum loved sports and would always watch the tennis, the Commonwealth and the Olympic games and during these times lots of knitting and ironing would get done because mum could never sit still.

I have so many stories that I share with my girls and family so that her memory will last forever.

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